My mother always had some rationale for her methods. She did all the chores around the house manually, insisting it was exercise. She refused to use a washing machine for a few years because it wasted too much water. She compulsively recycled plastic jars for storing spices and grains because ‘why would you throw away a perfectly good jar?’. Our spice cabinet was nothing like the restock TikTok videos. Nothing was thrown away - all paper, books, metal and clothes were either donated or sold to the “raddiwala”. The raddiwala was a local scrap dealer who paid you Rs. 10 per kilogram of scrap. We excitedly checked how much our trash weighed at the end of every school year because this trash was money that would be divided between us children for ice cream.

My mother prayed everyday, lighting incense and expressing gratitude. Growing up in a farming family, with very little control on outcomes, had made my mother a believer. My brothers and I were growing up in a different India though. We were studying in a missionary school, reciting catholic hymns in the morning assembly and learning science, maths and history in English, a language my mother didn’t speak. We weren't expected to pray everyday except on important religious days. My elder brother, after reading ‘The God Delusion’ by Dawkins, insisted atheism made sense and stopped praying entirely. I was onboard too. My mother let us be. But before an exam, when I was in tears about all the maths I didn’t know, my mother suggested that I pray for courage. In dire times, you don’t question the gods too much, so I closed my eyes and prayed, adding an apology for my astray brother.

My mother and the gods also led to many dietary restrictions. My mother refused to cook meat or fish on Tuesdays and Fridays, these days were special to her gods. My dad refused to eat meat or fish on Mondays and Saturdays, these days were special to his gods (My parents share the same religion so that is a Hindu riddle right there). So we ended up mostly eating rice, lentils and vegetables. We ate fish on Wednesdays and chicken on Sundays, but that was it. During Navratri (a festival) and on the second Tuesday of every month, she fasted. Once I started college, I ate a lot of my meals outside home. Now, I wasn’t arrogant enough to deny the gods but neither was I disciplined enough to abide by their rules.

While the science on smoking was clear, it was ‘a glass of wine daily is good for you’ times. My brothers and I had really caught on to this scientific finding. “Alcohol makes people behave strangely. It cannot be good.” My mother insisted. So we couldn’t drink at home. But we sneakily drank in bars and stayed over with our friends on those nights. She had figured out what was happening but decided to never bring it up.